Reunion- Apology Tour

[redcoat]

Alain first- starting with the first, more personal apology and then moving on to the trickier one after was the only concession she'd make herself when it came to the idea of ripping off the bandage quickly. Asking around, she was quickly able to locate him in the kitchens.

Taking a seat next to him, she sighed. "I'm sorry, for losing my temper."

[Ancelas]

Alain was seated in an unobtrusive cubby used by the kitchen servants when taking their breaks. There was a simple wooden table and benches, and set before him were two bowls - one full of peeled potatoes, and one full of potato skins. There was a plate of half-eaten food to one side and a sack of potatoes at his feet as well. It seemed that Alain was performing a simple service in exchange for his food.

He blinked at Sae as she breezed in and sat down, pausing briefly before he continued peeling a spud. He grunted softly at her apology. "I am sorry too. You caught me off guard, and I was... not clear-headed. It's silly to be frustrated with someone when one could've prevented the frustration oneself."

[redcoat]

Sae sighed and moved to the other side of the table, picking up a potato and beginning to peel it expertly. She had peeled a lot of potatoes in her life.

"I felt frustrated, because it seemed like I had been forced into a situation. I told Deschaine , so now the consequences are on me, despite me getting no say in how any of it was handled, because I was kept in the dark."

[Ancelas]

Alain resumed peeling his own potato and sighed. "It's not your fault, Sae, and I apologize for making you feel that way. The blame is mine. I've held on to my secrets for so long, it is... difficult... to let them go. I had every opportunity to speak to you, and yet it never occurred to me. You are blameless - you acted out of loyalty and good intention, and should not be faulted for that."

[redcoat]

Sae nodded, focusing on peeling potatoes- she moved quickly, precisely.

"What if, if Deschaine fucks it up, it's not our fault and it's actually his fault? Him and the Man in Black?"

[Ancelas]

Alain chuckled softly. He did not peel as fast as Sae, but was surprisingly deft at the mundane chore. "Oh, I know, intellectually, that it would be their fault. It would be silly to blame yourself for the actions taken by others, wouldn't it?"

There was a brief pause before he continued, "Of course, I don't know anyone of good conscience who has been able to accept such logic at face value. If he makes the wrong decision, you will blame yourself, and in blaming yourself, I will blame myself for your feelings, the Gunslinger's actions, and whatever comes of the whole situation."

Alain looked up and flashed a sad smile. "To feel responsibility for others is what differentiates us from our enemies. I think it also makes us prone to more misery when things go poorly."

[redcoat]

"In that case, I will endeavor not to blame myself for what he does, and break the cycle." She said with a frown. "I tried to counsel him. I pointed out to him that taking what feels like all the area's gunslingers with him- leaving the area I have just sweat and bled to free from Ruin unprotected- was ill advised. But he just kept pointing at the Lord's Alliance and saying that it's all taken care of."

Sae scowled.

"Like the whole lot of them won't start bickering and fighting and getting distracted the moment we leave for Otori."

[Ancelas]

"Sae," Alain said, setting down the potato he was feeling. "The Gunslingers have never been responsible for the safety of countries - that's what the standing armies are for. Gunslingers have always been... well, guns for hire. Is it really that surprising that Deschaine would take his people to fight on a front of his choosing, and leave the security of nations to... well, their rulers?"

[redcoat]

Sae frowned deeply, looking at her potato. "We are supposed to fight monsters, before armies are needed. I don't care about countries, I care about people. I want to be more than just a soulless mercenary." She put the potato to the side and grabbed another one.

"I didn't join the gunslingers so I could just get paid more to be an adventurer. I joined to be a part of something bigger." She sighed. "It's very Mareki of me, I know, but I saw the gunslingers as an army without the burden of borders and the shortsightedness of kings."

[Ancelas]

"And they are an army, of sorts - that aren't responsible for borders, and do not answer to kings," Alain observed. "They swear off their homelands because they have no homeland to concern themselves with. When armies march to war, they remove themselves so that they can focus their attentions elsewhere. You may see their departure as abandoning this war front, but to Deschaine, he is pivoting his forces to a battle more suited to their talents."

Alain visibly winced. "Feh. And here I am defending him." Alain shook his head and scowled. "You should know that I dislike the Gunslingers for the very reasons you admired them - they are an army answerable to no one, loyal to no land, and beholden to no king. They claim authority wherever they go, but answer to nothing.

"One of the reasons I like you is because I know where your loyalties lay." His faint smile returned. "You want to do what's best for people, and will kill yourself to do so. It is a drive I can... sympathize... with."

[redcoat]

"I do not trust kings. I have met too many of them." She said with a sigh, as talk turned to drives. "Oh, I know you can sympathize. I told Ve'ra we are the same flavor of idiot."

[Ancelas]

Alain winced, but chuckled and picked up his potato to resume peeling it. "Unfortunately, my flavor of idiot is not one I would wish upon anyone else. Learn from my mistakes - of which I have many to answer for."

[redcoat]

Sae chuckled, cleaning her knife on her pant leg and sheathing it, putting the cleaned potato on the pile. "Speaking of answering, now I need to go track down Mirrai and apologize to her too."

[Ancelas]

"Ah. I last saw her in the Glade, speaking with Taliesin. She may still be there." Alain cocked his head as he spoke, his curiosity evident even though he didn't ask.

[redcoat]

"Ve'ra... made some good points." Sae said, shrugging her shoulders uncomfortably. "I do not trust her. But I can... at least apologize for losing my temper and try to ask some questions. Civilly." She frowned deeply, staring at the door of the kitchens. She would rather not, but. Better to get it done sooner rather than later.

Giving a wave to Alain in farewell, she would leave to seek out Mirrai.